Ally's Moon
by popcorn-lover246
Summary: Faith. That's what they call it. They don't know what it is, but they believe in it. No one knows whats going to happen in the future, not today, not tomorrow, we don't know. But sometimes faith can be against us and turn our world upside down. And you realize that the only way of helping yourself, is helping the one person you love the most.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi...**

**Hmm...**

**I know I still have Maybe We Weren't Made for Each Other to finish but I reeeeeally wanted to do this story. I promise I'll stil update the other but not that much, I want to concentrate on this one. I have a good feeling about this.**

**It's inspired on book called A Lua de Joana (or Joana's Moon, for you to understand) by Maria Teresa Maia Gonzalez. It's an inspiring and awesome book, I don't know if there is in english, but if there is you totally should try it!**

**This will basically the same story but with some differences cause I'll adjust it to Austin and Ally. It will have Auslly eventually, but it won't be the main subject. You'll see.**

**I hope you like it.**

**Enjoy the first chapter! (:**

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Miami, August 28th

Dear Trish,

I don't know what I'm doing. I guess I needed to take this weight off my chest, I need an escape, I need to understand what happened and what is happening. And because you always were my best friend and I used to tell you everything... It didn't make sence to me if I wrote a diary, it would be like writing to myself and that would be weird. Maybe it's even stranger write this letter to you but maybe it's a way to keep your memory alive some way, at least until I can understand everything, until I can forgive you.

It has been exactly a month since you... I still can't say it. Probably because I still don't believe you're not here with me anymore. It's just so hard to believe!

As you know, today is my birthday. Well it was my birthday. 16. I've lived for 16 years and life goes on and on. Something makes me wonder why I'm here and you're not. It's 2 in the morning and I can't sleep. I'm going to tell you what I received. Finally my mother let me redecorate my bedroom. It's all white: the walls the furniture, the carpet, the curtains... And I have the swing of my dreams: it's a wooden half-moon (white, of course) suspended in the ceiling by a chain, in the middle of my room. It's the only one in the world! I designed it. When I want to think, I turn it into a crescent moon, when I'm sad, I turn it into a quarter moon and I sit there until the sadness finally disappears.

Grandma gave some earings she used to wear when she was younger.

"You're old enough to wear earings, honey. Don't listen to your mother, she's an old fashion" she said. Because you know my mother didn't approve of me wearing earings. Grandma is a sweetheart.

The Jerk was broke as always, so mom must have borrowed him some money and he gave me a bar of chocolate, even knowing very well that I'm allergic, and a stupid card with a draw of a stupid ugly monkey that says "You're getting old!" It's really a petty having a brother like him.

My dad gave me a watch. Another watch for my stupid collection of watches. But he probably doesn't remember the watches he gave me all the years before. He's busy as always. Certainly he asked for Elizabeth to buy it. He only leaves his office to go to some music congress, how could he have time to buy something for his own daughter.

Mom wanted me to have a party but I said no, absolutely no. She just couldn't ruin my birthday and I wasn't in the mood to parties either. Birthday isn't that important, I mean if it was 18... I would finally be a legal adult, I would just fly away from here, away from the problems, I would leave and make my own decisions.

Well I'm tired, I need to sleep. I hope I don't dream of you tonight, it's terrible.

Love,

Ally

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**Maybe you're not understanding... Well you'll understand eventually, I promise you. But I don't want to tell you. Where is the fun in that?! :o**

**Kisses ^-^**


	2. Chapter 2

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: don't own Austin & Ally**

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Miami, September 1st

Dear Trish,

I thought really hard if I still should write you. It's stupid and strange. But I can't just leave you like that, I can't forget you. It wouldn't be fair. And since no one knows about this, no one can think I'm crazy.

Today I went out to go to the grocery but I came across your brother in the elevator. I hadn't seen him after the funeral. He was really strange and almost didn't say a word to me. His million dollar smile was turned into a thin line, his eyes weren't a bright honey brown but a sad dark one and his shiny bold hair wasn't even shiny anymore. When we left the building I asked him for a ride in his bike to the grocery shop. You know I've always been scared of ride a bike but I needed an excuse to rip something from his mouth. He took me to the grocery shop and left me right at the front door. I took off my helmet and was ready to leave but I turned around and saw he had taken his helmet too. I stared at him, studying him like a book. I just couldn't take it anymore and I knew he couldn't either. Before I said goodbye I turned to him.

"You know it's really stupid if we stop being friends." I said pointedly but he stayed in complete silence. "I'm sure Trish wouldn't want that."

This time he looked at me coldly.

"Trish is dead, Ally. How can you know what she wants?" His voice was dryer than the Sahara's desert. With that he put on his helmet and took off. I watched him disappear in the sun up the street and sighed.

I think he still can't accept the reality. But who can?! This was a truly shock, Trish.

One day I'll look for your brother and talk to him. I'm not capable of going to your house yet, but your parents insisted that I should still pass by. It was really nice of them. The truth is that I don't know what to say when I'll see them. "Hi! How are you? Ups, I'm sorry, it's a stupid question. You must be feeling terrible right now!" or "Hello! How do you feel now that your daughter is gone?" or even "Hey, I'm sorry for your lost. It was a shock for all of us." I can't say anything. I'm feeling just like them. What would I say? I never thought I would be this scared. Maybe I'll go to your house some day, maybe I'll do it.

Love,

Ally

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**So can you guess who Trish's brother is? :3 I think I made it pretty obvious (: **

**Kisses ^-^**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey popcorns! **

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: don't own Austin & Ally**

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Miami, September 10th

Dear Trish,

This week has been horrible. I had nightmares about you almost every night. I wanted to talk with my dad about it, but he went to Paris to another music congress and when he came back he just locked himself in Sonic Boom's office. Maybe there are some pills that can make me sleep all night without getting nightmares. I hope there are, because I'm going nuts! Of course I didn't talk with my mom about it, I can already imagine her freaking out like always.

I've spent hours sitting on my moon swing doing nothing this week. I'm really looking for the school's start. I know it's going to be weird being at school and not finding you there but at least I will have something to distract me.

Today I got enough courage to go to your house. Once I entered, your brother left in rush, saying he had to buy something. Your mom sighed.

"I'm sorry, Ally" she closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath while your dad put a hand in her shoulder. She opened her eyes and shoot me a weak smile. "Austin, he..." I could tell she was on the verge of crying, seeing her eyes becoming shiny from the tears, I interrupted her with a small nod.

"I know." I said simply.

The three of us sat on the couch in silence, no one daring to make a move or saying anything, like we were afraid that if we did, everything would be more empty than it was already. There we were avoiding any possible eye contact. It was awkward. Finally your mom got up while your dad opened the news paper.

"There's some... Trish's things she would want you to keep, Alls. If you want." He said

Alls. I remember the day you first started calling me that. Austin got my name completely wrong and called me Alex, you laughed so hard we thought you were going to have a heart attack.

"Alex?!" you repeated when the laugh was dying "At least call her Alls, Austin. I like that. Alls. From now on you're going to be Alls."

So since that day even your parents call me Alls. Hearing your dad saying my name like that made me wanna scream. I don't want to be Alls anymore. Not without you.

My throat got dry. I wasn't expecting that. I mean, I didn't know why I was at your house on the first place, but it certainly wasn't to receive some of your things. I started to see everything in a blur. I think I got up and followed her like a robot to your room, without knowing what was happening.

I had imagined a million possible conversations I could have with your parents, I even had rehearsed what I would say to them, but my mind and mouth got closed, I was dumbfounded at your mother's attitude. The truth was that I, a fresh 16 year old teenager, wasn't going to say things like "Life goes on" or "Death is part of life" and other things that were so repeated that doesn't even have a meaning anymore.

Entering your room was like go to another world. My eyes traveled through all the corners, looking for God knows what. Your mom made me sit on the chair by the window. I looked around me again. Everything was the same. I wanted to cry but something stopped me.

"I know you always were Trish's best friend since you two were born."

I nod and saw a black bag she was holding tightly.

"I put some of Trish's things in here for you. I think... you can do what you want with them. If you don't want..."

"Oh no" I immediately interrupted her for the second time that day "I do. I would love to keep them all." I took the bag, afraid I would explode, thanked your parents and ran out of there.

When I was entering the elevator I came across your brother again. So, I don't know why, I instinctively hide the bag behind my back like a child who had stolen a chocolate. But I have a feeling he didn't notice me. I heard a faintly goodbye. I didn't say it back.

A day has passed and I still couldn't open the bag your mother gave me.

Love,

Alls

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**So this was the third chapter. A little longer compared to the others x)**

**Thank you for following, making this story one of your favourites and a special thank you to MayLuvzuGomez who has been reviewing :D**

**Oh and yep, Trish's brother is Austin :3**

**Reviews are awesome... Tell me what you think**

**Kisses ^-^**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hellooo! **

**Just wanted to say that I'm grateful for all the followers I've been getting and the other things and specially reviews! Aaaand thank you again, MayLuvzuGomez :3 you're awesome!**

**Oh Kaylee, Austin isn't Ally's brother, he is Trish's x) Ally's brother is the guy she calls "Jerk", cause she kinda hates him :3 Ty anyway for the nice comments (:**

**Enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: don't own Austin& Ally**

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Miami, September 12th

Dear Trish,

Only this morning I had the courage to open the bag. I was sat on the swing looking around my room and my eyes rested on the black bag with your things that I had thrown to the corner 2 days ago. I slowly got up and walked to the bag, I sat on the floor in front of it and stared. My hands looked for the bag, but I stopped them. I took a deep breath, so deep, an enormous peace I haven't been for a long time came over me. I let my hands reach the bag and opened it carefully taking the things one by one without looking at them. I placed everything on the bed and just then I took a look at them. Your favourite basketball ball, the necklace we bought in a super expensive store in our trip to London, your awesome collection of nail polish I had always envied and your favourite cheetah patterned jacket. I smiled weakly seeing those things.

Carefully I put your things in a white wooden box under the bed and got up, walking to the swing. But suddenly I tripped over something. A book. But not any book. Our notebook with every song we wrote and sung together while I played the guitar or the piano. I picked it up and opened it. That's when I saw that my hands had been shaking all that time since I had opened the bag. I walked to the wardrobe and put the notebook inside a pink and green box with princesses and hearts. Do you remember that box? It was the first gift you ever gave me for my birthday. Yes, I still have it. With all my heart.

After seeing your things, I went to your house. I thought that I should thank your mom properly. She had a better looking, I could see she had finally started to take care of herself again. She opened the door smiling and let me in.

"Oh God Ally" she said when she looked at me with attention after closing the door "Have you been sleeping, honey?" She must had noticed the huge bags under my eyes, unlike my mom. I shook my had.

We went to the living room where your dad was smoking a cigarette. You had luck having parents that always had time for the family. I thanked them for giving me some of your things and your mother avoid the subject by asking me if I was excited about the school start. We talked about it for a while until I remembered your brother who had finished school last year. Something tells me he's not going to college, with the path life is taking. I wish I was his age, being 18 and leave this place like I said before. Fly away from here.

"Where's Austin?" I asked.

"Oh he's in his room since yesterday. He hasn't come out yet." your mom said sadly. I nod, suddenly feeling uncomfortable.

"Maybe you could..." your father spoke for the first time "Maybe you could talk to him, Ally. Make him... Just talk to him. Would you?"

I stayed in silence.

"Please Alls."

I sighed and got up. I knocked faintly on your brother's bedroom door.

"Austin"

No response. I decided to enter his room. It was dark, the curtains were barely opened, there were clothes everywhere, papers all over the floor. That room was a mess. Dare I say it, it was worse than Jerk's. In the middle of the dark, I could see him lied on his bed, I started walking blindly until I reach the curtains and opened them. I was hoping a reaction from him. Any reaction. I was hoping that he would scream at me for opening the curtains, I was hoping that he would call me a bitch for doing that. I would take anything if that meant he was reacting at something. But he didn't. Your brother stayed in bed, motionless. I stared at his figure for a while. He was laying with his stomach down, shirtless, his messy blond hair all over his face. I sighed and came close to him. I placed a hand above his back and shook him lightly.

"Austin, are you awake?"

"I think." he mumbled. I took some of his hair from his face and he opened his yes slowly to adjust to the light and look at me. I smiled weakly but he didn't return it. I sighed again and jumped to the windowsill to look outside.

"I hope they never cut those trees" I said quietly, looking at the trees where Austin, you, me and Dez used to play. He laughed. That made me smile. I turned my head to look at him. He was now sitting on the bed with a shirt on looking at me like he had never seen me before. I took a deep breath and count to three.

"Austin?"

"Hmm?" I heard him mumble.

"Do you want go with me put some flowers on Trish's grave?"

Hearing that, he got up quickly and looked at me like I was an alien.

"For what?" he yelled. And I didn't know what to answer because I never actually understood the deal with the flowers and why people do it. Then I stared at the floor in shame, but I didn't know why, because I had no reason to be ashamed.

"Yeah, you're right" I said quietly, not looking up. "I just wanted to talk to you anyways"

Your brother lied again, this time with his face up and put his hands on his stomach, looking up to the ceiling.

"If is about Trish you want to talk, forget it. I'm not here. Try to talk with my dad or my mom, if you want. Not with me."

Austin is really bad, Trish, I don't know what to do. He wants to be the though guy but doesn't realize that it's exactly the other way. I just want to help him so bad! And I need his help too (if he helped me...).

Love,

Ally

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**An Austin and Ally moment! (kinda) It will have more**

**Reviews are reeeeeally awesome**

**Kisses ^-^**


	5. Chapter 5

**Heeeyyyy... So it's been a while, uh... I think a month or something... eheheh well I do have the typical but totally valid excuse: school. Yep. Buuuut SUMMER VACATION STARTS IN A WEEK! OMG I can't wait, I'm soooooo excited! Damn! **

**But, to make it up to you guys, here is probably the longest chapter for now *.***

**Disclaimer: don't own Austin & Ally**

**Enjoy (:**

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Miami, September 18th

Dear Trish,

Today was the first day of school. At Math's class no one wanted to sit in your place, so everyone made a scene out of it. I was the one who ended up sitting there.

The teacher made a small speech about the new school year and finally she talked about you. She couldn't even say your name, and when she finally said it, she looked at me in the eyes, maybe looking for some encouragement that I couldn't give to her. She made a simple but heartful speech and in the end she said:

"If anyone has any problem, whatever it is, family problems, dating, drugs... You can come to me, I'll be here for you."

That's when Dallas got up asking for permission to speak to the class too.

"I'm sorry for what happened to Trish" he started, and right then I felt my stomach turn upside down. How and why would he be sorry? He didn't have anything to do with what happened to you. This thing annoys me, people shouldn't be sorry for something that is not their fault. "She was my friend since kinder garden. But as much as it shocks me" he looked at me, like I was the only one in the room "I can't forgive a smart girl, with a fantastic family, that started relating with unappropriated people that she knew so well that they were addicted to drugs." Finally his eyes turned to the class. "It's a shame and completely nonsense that, with so much information there is about this special subject, someone our age doesn't know the risks associated."

Everyone stayed in silence, no one dared to speak or make a move. But while no one did nothing, I sat there looking at the black board in the middle of the wall with the today's date written in it. I didn't know what to do, what to say, what to think or how to feel. I felt numb for a moment. I was angry at him. I don't want to accept the idea of him being right. But was he? But I was scared too. How could he talk about such a delicate subject like this? He was just so calm, so cold.

At the end of the class I looked for him. When I finally found him by the lockers, I walked up to him with large steps.

"How could you?!" I yelled at him, slamming his locker shut with all the force and anger inside me. He jumped. I was breathing like a mad woman, at that moment. He just stared at me and I stared at him, my eyes burning like fire while his were full of confusion.

"How could I what?"

"How could you talk about Trish like that?" I started, still yelling. There was a pause full of silence. I could notice he was trying to find the words to talk, but when finally he started to open his mouth to say something, I cut him off, not wanting to hear him say a thing. "How could you say that? How could you talk about it like that? How can you say you're not doing any of that? How can you be so damn sure, uh?" By this time, my voice was getting even louder, if that was possible, questions were flying out of my mouth and I couldn't stop it. He was slowly backing away and I was stepping forward while yelling. "How can you say you don't and will not make any mistakes? Who are you? Who do you think you are?" Silence. People were starting to surround us to see the scene we, or better, I was making. But I just didn't care, I didn't give a fuck about it, even when I still have that horrible stage fright, because the only thing I could think of was you. "Are you Mister Perfect?"

I was breathing heavily. My lungs were hurting. My head was hurting.

He smirked at me.

"No."

"How?" I whispered this time, looking up at him. His smirk never disappearing.

"I am not Mister Perfect." He repeated, completely ignoring my question, but I don't even know if my question had an answer. "I just will never do a mistake like that." My breath slowed down. "Never."

With that he turned around and left me there still surrounded by all that people, staring at me. But I still didn't care. Because now he had left me with another question. Was he right? I mean... Maybe even I think like that... Drugs? Trish... you made a mistake... Maybe he was right, maybe him and I think the same way, maybe I just wanted to defend you. But I still don't understand your actions, and I still can't forgive you, Trish. But I'm trying. I am.

Tomorrow is my dad's birthday. I've been thinking about what to give him but I can't think about anything. The only thing that came up was to give him a picture that Grandma took of him last year, on the beach. It's the only decent picture of me I have. I mean, it's the only one where I'm not looking like a freak, mentally unhealthy. I hope he likes this one and he could put it in his desk in his office and then maybe, just maybe, he remembers me when he looks at it... But I wrote him a card too. It's like this:

_Sometimes I see you in our house halls_

_I turn on the light so I can see you better._

_To don't look bad _

_We spend the Christmas day together._

_When I wake up you're already working._

_I changed my hair style but you didn't notice._

_I called you multiple times, but you weren't looking_

_But even with all these things, when I see you_

_You will always be my dad and I will always love you._

Do you think it's too harsh? I was being honest, that's it.

After school I went to your house... I'm not sure why I did it though. It was an impulse, I guess, I just felt the urge to go there. I knocked on the door and your mother opened it smiling. I forced a smile back. She let me in and I did, but awkwardly stood there in front of the closed door, looking at my old black converse shoes, not knowing what to do or say because, honestly, I was there for no reason. Surprisingly, she must had notice my uncomfortable state, because the first thing she told me was that Austin was in his room, smiled again and walked away.

My feet instantly walked me to his room and my hands knocked on the door. I was waiting for some rejection, like always, but I found him sitting on his bed with the guitar in his lap, playing and singing softly. Although I couldn't understand half the words he was singing, I recognized the song as one of the stupid songs that the lyrics made no sence that we used to sing while Dez recorded when we were kids.

Dez.

I haven't heard of him since your death. I wonder where he is. That crazy red-head... I miss him.

"Hey"

I looked at him. He wasn't playing anymore. The guitar was beside him and he was with his legs crossed, turned to me.

"Hey" I smiled and sat with him in his bed, staring at the guitar.

Dez.

"Have you..." I sighed and looked at him. "Do you know anything about Dez?"

Austin stared at me with a blanc expression, like he was frozen.

"Dez" he whispered quietly. He closed his eyes and sighed again. We just sat there in silence for a while. "I think he needed to think about all... this" he said, filling the silence.

I nod and stared at the guitar again.

"Or maybe he just didn't want to confront us..." I mumbled "Like you, when we come across each other... you don't... it's like you don't want to talk with me..."

"Are you stupid, Ally?" he spoke without taking his eyes of the book I didn't realize he had grabbed "Why wouldn't I want to talk to you?!"

"Because you still aren't capable of accept the fact that Trish is dead" I answered him, hoping he would look at me.

He did.

"Me?!" he was raising his voice "Look at you! You're the one who hasn't gotten in your head that she is dead."

Maybe he was right. I knew he was right. But I didn't want to believe it.

"I haven't" I finally admitted. I lied on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. "But that's why I need your help, Austin" He lied with me in the same position and I tried to ignore the fact that we were really close. "I need you to help me understand and accept it."

"Understand what?" he was getting angry again "People born, live and die. That's it. Some people die from old age, other die from stupidly. Trish choose to be stupid. What do you want me to do, now? I can't bring her back, can I?"

He was practically yelling. And I realized I was shaking. Why does it has to be so hard? Why can't I just accept the truth? Reality hurts. I closed my eyes and tried my hardest not to cry. But apparently Austin must have noticed it. He sighed and I felt him look at me.

"There's nothing I can do, Ally." I felt his hot breath in my face and shivered a little. I nod and opened my eyes, a tear ran through my face and Austin wiped it carefully. I stared at his brown eyes which were staring back at mine. Suddenly he sighed again and stood up, picking up his book and sat again on the floor, with his back against the bed. I wiped another tear and sat again with my legs crossed. My eyes travelled through those 4 walls of your brother's room. The walls were painted red and yellow, mine and his favourite colours, the instruments that once were played almost every single day by our small group of 4 best friends were now covered in dust in the corner of the room. I miss playing them, I miss our days together, I miss Dez, I miss you, I miss Austin and I miss me. I miss everything. I miss happiness. Why, Trish?

"I'm not like you, Austin. I want to know who were those guys that were with her in the last three months. I never met them."

"You didn't and that's for the better, Ally. If you aren't dumb, you should know they are not good people to be around." he said, closing the book "They are all the same. Here, in China, in the end of the world, it's all the same shit. Fucking assholes. They start with just a simple insignificant try and then they end up like we know how. Why do you want to meet them? I don't see any plus in that. They're just bunch of drug addicted."

I stood up and walked to the door, but before I opened it, I took a look at your brother who was with his attention back in that book. I wanted him to hug me so bad, I wanted to help him and I want and need his help. Why can't he just let me in, Trish? I can't lose him too...

Love,

Ally

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**Reviews are awesome, trust me...**

**Kisses ^-^**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi!**

**Disclaimer: don't own you know what and don't own the song bellow**

**Enjoy (:**

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Miami, September 23rd

Dear Trish,

My supposed brother AKA The Jerk has a new style. Two days ago he appeared at home with a lip ring and some black boots that could kill all the insects of the world. My mom, of course, freaked out and forbade him to enter Sonic Boom looking like that. And did he care about it?! I don't know how she talked to him like that, he always was his honey, the mommy's little boy, the favourite son. Sometimes I wonder if she would live without me... And I came with the conclusion that both my parents and my brother would live perfectly fine. Anyway, my dad hasn't seen his new look and he won't see it in a while because he went to Russia for another music congress. Grandma asked me to talk with The Jerk about this change, I don't think it would work, but I promised her I would talk to him and that's what I did.

I knocked on his bedroom door but, because he was listening to a horrible song I didn't know with the volume so loud that I wasn't sure if he was still alive in there. I opened the door and leaned against the wall, waiting for him to notice me, but he didn't seem to do it. I just looked around his horrible room. I hadn't been in there for so long, I didn't remember the last time I was there. That wasn't a room, not even a camping for homeless people, that was more like a room where revolutions were planed. Posters were everywhere, even on the ceiling, his wardrobe and windows were full of horrible nasty stickers, his clothes were everywhere and it smelled like late drunk parties, sex and pizza with 2 months. Then I understood my mom when she always complains about my brother's room condition.

When the music finished, my wonderful shirtless brother finally acknowledged my presence.

"What the fuck do you want?"

"Grandma wanted me to talk to you" I answered him, rolling my eyes.

"Uh?" he showed an expression full of confusion. I swear that boy was even more stupid then I thought.

Fighting the urge to roll my eyes again I explained him. "About your new look"

"What about it?" he asked, while looking through a pile of used clothes on the floor.

"You have style... But it seems like mom and grandma don't have the same opinion. Just God knows why..." I said sarcastically.

"Hmm" he mumbled, pulling out a black Kiss shirt from the pile and puting it on. And I rolled my eyes again, disgusted.

"Yeah, I think you better get rid of that lip ring, that hair or those boots. But if I were you, I would start with the hair." I said smirking.

"Yeah sure, I'm totally gonna do that fucking shit." it was his time to roll his eyes.

"Well then, that would be awesome!" I messed, smirking.

"Fuck off, Ally. I have better things to do."

Fuck off?! That stupid Jerk needs to learn some things, specially some nice language.

Yesterday, when I was arriving from school I caught him and Grandma fighting in the kitchen. She was screaming that he didn't look like a good family man and he was yelling back at her things like "I don't give a fuck about that" and "It's my fucking hair, my lip, my feet, my fucking life and I do what I fucking want with them!" They continued shouting until I started to hear my Grandma's voice cracking and I knew she was on the verge of crying so when he was in the middle of his yelling, I stepped in.

"And you forgot to say that the bad and dumb personality are also yours! FUCK OFF!"

I yelled at him, throwing him the same exactly words he had said to me in his room, and he left the kitchen mumbling some kind of language only jerks probably understand. I looked at Grandma. Although she tried, she couldn't hide the sad and disappointed face from me. I hugged her. What a jerk... How could he talk to his own grandmother like that?

"You have to be patient with him, dear, we all have." she said after breaking the hug " Your mother thinks he's still traumatized for failing school last year."

That's completely irrational! It makes me wanna punch him so hard that he will be more traumatized by it that he will never be capable of talk!

I got skinnier since summer and no one has noticed because they're all worried about my stupid brother and his supposed _trauma_. Now he goes to a therapist and has changed, but to worse. Apparently his therapist says everybody has to let him do whatever he wants and of course he is feeling the center of the world, he couldn't be any happier...

Today I had to walk home after school because my dear mother forgot that school is over at 4 o'clock and went with my brother to the therapist. But I found your brother sitting on the floor in front of our building, looking lost. He was looking down at the floor, but didn't seem like paying attention to it, if that makes sence, he was staring at nothing, breathing slowly but heavily, I could hear his deep breaths from miles away. Since I knew I couldn't just enter the building without passing by him and acknowledge him, I decided to sit by his side. At first, he stood still, not moving or saying at thing, like I wasn't eve there with him, but I didn't say anything either, not just because I didn't know what to say, but because I thought it was better if I didn't even tried to speak. Minutes passed but it felt like hours or even days, but that's when finally he looks at me in the eyes, and I stare back at his. He sighed and rested his head on my shoulder. I closed my eyes and fought the urge to cry, but I wouldn't do it, not in front of him, not again. My head rested on his and I could smell the sense of his blond hair. Suddenly he got up and hold out his hand and I took it. He hold my hand firmly and dragged me out there without talking. I didn't protest or ask where we were going, I just let him take me whatever he wanted to go.

We went to the mall. Yeah, the mall. Even though it seems completely normal and nothing important, for me it was, for us. The mall is where everything happened: you, me, Austin, Dez... I realized I hadn't gone to the mall since you left, and I was stupidly nervous. Still holding my hand like his life depended on it, he started walking like an arrow and I found myself in front of Sonic Boom.

"Are... Austin... are you sure?" I whispered, being the first to talk since I found him.

"Yes" His voice was so firm that it scared me.

The store was almost empty, my dad wasn't in the country and my mom never really cared about the store, my brother would never walk in so the only person left was me, but I wasn't sure if I still wanted to work there, at least I wouldn't for a while. But luckily I knew dad had hired a new employed to work there for situations like this.

Austin stared walking in, me following him and without thinking we entered Sonic Boom and then we were in the practise room. My free hand covered my mouth while my eyes were getting watered but I fought it. I wasn't going to cry. Austin let go of my hand and I felt it getting cold while I was getting insecure. I needed him holding it. So many memories... Where is Dez, Trish? Do you know where he is? Grandma says you're up there watching us, maybe you're watching Dez too... Where is he? Austin sat in front of the piano staring at the keys and I stood there watching him. Was he going to play it? I haven't played or heard music in a while... Finally he pressed a key. And then another, and another but I didnt knew the song he was playing. He stopped and turned around to look at me.

"Let's write something" he spoke quietly and my heartbeat speeded up. I found myself nodding and sitting beside him. I took my brown leather book from my backpack and placed it in the piano. "I was thinking we could do something like this" and then he started playing something and after a while, my hands joined his and I tried to keep up with him.

I felt so alive, Trish! I felt like I didn't knew how to breathe and I was breathing again.

Our hands danced together until Austin sang quietly and I suddenly stopped playing to write it down. I smiled a little for the first time in so long.

_It's cold again_  
_I do not know what to do_  
_I need a friend_  
_But all I really want is you_  
_Where have you been_  
_I haven't seen you for so long_  
_I guess you're gone_  
_You're really gone_

He sang. But stopped playing and the silence consumed us but I wasn't going to let it do it. I placed my hands on the piano and sang quietly, my voice almost breaking. I don't remember the last time I actually sang...

_So long ago_  
_You told me you'd never leave_  
_But do you know_  
_Things have changed so suddenly_  
_And here I am_  
_I am moving on without you_  
_Without you_

I stopped too, to look at him, hoping he would join me. But he just stared back at me. So I continued without taking my eyes of his.

_And now the years have passed us by_  
_And I still do not know why_  
_Before you tried_  
_You chose to quit_  
_So where are you tonight_  
_You could make everything right_  
_But instead_  
_You're missing it_  
_You're missing it_

And that's when finally he joined me.

_You're missing it_

He only sang that and paused. But I let him. He had to do that. He repeated it.

_You're missing it_  
_All the things that I have done_  
_You're missing it_  
_Everything I have become_  
_So wave goodbye 'cause you can never get it back_  
_No you can't_  
_You really can't_

And then my voice mixed his.

_Cause now the years have passed us by_  
_And I still do not know why_  
_Before you tried_  
_You chose to quit_  
_So where are you tonight?_  
_You could make it everything all alright_  
_But instead you're missing it_  
_You're missing it_

A small smile appeared on his face too and I felt him more confident, I felt more confident. I decided to grab my dad's old guitar and played along with him.

_There'll be a day when you wish you could go back_  
_When your mistakes will catch up with where you're at_  
_Before you know all your chances will be gone_  
_They will be gone_

A tear dropped from my brown eyes while Austin played alone.

_'Cause now the years have passed us by_  
_And I still do not know why_  
_Before you tried_  
_You chose to quit_  
_So where are you tonight?_  
_You could make it everything all alright_  
_But instead you're missing it_  
_You're missing it_  
_  
_

And finally our voices were so strong, so loud, we were letting out our feelings. His fingers crossed the piano like a machine and I played the guitar with the same force and passion.

_And now the years have passed us by_  
_And I still do not know why_  
_Before you tried_  
_You chose to quit_  
_So where are you tonight?_  
_You could make it everything all alright_  
_But instead you're missing it_  
_You're missing it_

I sopped and he played some chords in the end. We became silent. I stared at him and he stared down at the piano. I walked up to him and sat beside him to give him a hug. He put his strong arms around my waist and his head on my shoulder, hugging tightly, like it was the last thing we would do. I don't remember that well, but I all I know is that when I came back home, I ran to my room and locked the door and have been in here since then. My green shirt was wet on the shoulder but I didn't changed it. It smells like him. It smells like home.

Love,

Ally

* * *

**So yeah, this is it...**

**Don't own the song "You're missing it" by Jason Walker. Don't exactly my style but it fitted I guess x)**

**As you know, reviews are still awesome :D**

**Until next time,**

**Kisses ^-^****  
**


	7. Chapter 7

**Heeey!**

**Disclaimer: What don't I own? Yep, Austin & Ally.**

**Enjoy! :)**

* * *

Miami, October 28th

Dear Trish,

I've been thinking about him so much... I just want to help Austin so bad! I've been having this... weird... feelings... I mean, I always thought about him as a caring older brother that I never had the opportunity to have, since Elliot it's just such a Jerk... but now... I don't know what I'm feeling. It's like I want to be his mother... I know it's weird, but sometimes I remember him when I'm going to bed and I want to go to his room and push his covers up, brushing my fingers through his blond hair and give him a soft kiss on the cheek to comfort him. I want to make sure he is ok.

That's why I knocked on your house's door, at 4 in the morning asking your mom if he was ok. At first she looked at me like I was crazy, but when she saw the tears in my eyes she let me in without a word. I walked slowly and quietly to your brother's room and entered it.

"Austin?" I whispered as I walked closer to his bed "Are you awake?"

"Ally? What are you doing here? What time is it?" he asked, taking a look at the time in his phone. I didn't say anything but heard him sigh while putting his phone back on the bedside table. "Come here" And I got into the bed with him, his arms curled around my waist and pushed me closer to him and I fell asleep in is arms.

The next day I woke up alone, walked to the kitchen and saw a note from your mom saying Austin had left early but didn't said where he was going, your dad and her had to go to work. I sighed and left the house, going to mine, and took a cold shower. I wasn't hungry so I just grabbed an apple and decided to go to Sonic Boom and see how things were going. My dad came from Russia 3 weeks ago but he already has to leave in 2 days again. I only changed a few words with him... My mom has been worried about my brother so she hasn't talked much with me and I only have my grandma, who sometimes picks me up from school and we have lunch together. I don't know how I would live without her.

I met the new employee, her name is Tess and is 25, she's a beautiful young woman, nice, smart and really fun. Sometimes we hang out a little after we close the store. I found out she is a music lover too and she also writes songs! I told her I'm a song-writer too and she seemed excited about it and told me we had to write a song together some day. I just haven't decided yet, because music was our thing, along with Dez. I wrote, Austin sang, you were the awesome manager and Dez the one who used to make the music videos... I just... I don't know if I'm ready to share this with anyone but you, Austin and Dez... But since the incident, Austin is losing his fans like a waterfall, Dez is nowhere to be found and you... I don't know what to do. But I still said I would think about it.

"That's the last box, Ally. Do you need anything more or can I get back to help the costumers?" Tess said, putting the box down next to the others next to the counter where I was behind writing in my book. I looked up and smile.

"No, thanks, Tess" I said as I put my book in my backpack. As she went to help a little girl who was looking for a violin, I grabbed a box and started walking upstairs to the practise room when I heard my name being called.

"Excuse me, I'm looking for Ally Dawson."

I froze.

I knew that voice.

The voice that always made me laugh, the voice that made me mad, that made you lose your mind every time you heard it.

Could it be...

No.

I refused to believe it. My breath speeded, I could feel my heart bumping in my chest like a bomb. I couldn't bring myself to turn around. My feet were stuck and I couldn't move. For a while I just stood there in the middle of the stairs, feeling the owner of the voice staring at me. I shut my eyes and I felt the need to run around. But I couldn't. But I did anyway. And suddenly I found it hard to hold the box in my arms. I stared at him like he was a ghost. The way his eyes never left mine scared me to the point I wanted to rip them off. I could think about a million things to say, or a million things to think. But only one thing came to my mind.

_He looked taller_.

Maybe it was just because the last time I saw him was something like half a year ago, maybe more, but I still think he was taller. A lot taller.

"Hey"

Hey.

I couldn't help but notice that he was wearing a black leather jacket, a white t-shirt and some red jeans. He also was holding sun-glasses.

_Who was he?_

Hey.

"Hey Dez. How have you been? Haven't seen you in a while... When did you decide to interrupt your vacations and stop by and say hi?" It seemed a nice thing to say at the moment. But then I saw his hurt look and thought that maybe I shouldn't have said that. Wait. I didn't.

I still couldn't talk.

"Ally, I know I haven't been here with you and Austin, but after Trish's death, I just needed to think about..." he paused "and I know it sounds stupid and I know I should have been here to support you and Austin, but I couldn't. I needed to clear my mind. I can imagine how broken Austin is feeling and as his best friend I wasn't there to help him get through this like I should be, but I can't imagine how broken you are, Ally, and I know I should have been here for you too because I always treated you like my little sister but not this time. And I'm sorry I was so selfish, I'm sorry I wasn't the best friend Austin needed or the big brother you needed. I'm just truly and deeply sorry, Ally."

He spoke fast. Too fast. In only a breath. But I still couldn't talk. So I hugged him.

"I forgive you, Dez" the tears were falling like a waterfall and I hugged him tight. I didn't want to let go. I was afraid if I did, he would disappear again. "I forgive you." I repeated "Austin forgives you."

He's back, Trish. And as weird as this must sound, I feel like it was you. Thank you, Trish, for bringing him back.

Love,

Ally

* * *

**So Dez is back... yep, and he's different, you could tell only by the way he was dressing, it wasn't his normal stupid but funny colorful clothes he used to wear. And Ally also noticed that, "who was he?" Yeah.**

**Ok, so you know what I think about reviews.**

**Kisses ^-^**


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